Pain

Life is interesting. I have experienced life to the fullest. I have been to the brink of death more often than I would like. I have been there with my wife twice. I have been present within that limbo between life and death with loved ones, friends, and strangers alike. That place where everything seems to slow down. There's a battle between life and death. Of fear and peace. It's a place where clergy get the honor to be present when one of their people is making the journey to be with Christ. It's a strange spiritual road we all will someday embark upon.

I have fought demons, the enemies of all that is good and have come out victorious, if not a bit beat up spiritually. I have been attacked and beat up by people in the christian church who have agendas of their own. Agendas that didn't jive with me. My family has been attacked for reasons that are beyond me. And more...and still I have been able to bounce back with vigor and strength in God's Word, knowing that the place where I grind my feet into the dirt to take root is the place and the stance that God wants me to take no matter the flack that I receive and the distress and anger other people feel because of what God wants and firmly stands for. Trusting that God will come through for me and for his people...and yet, this one silly little pain in my neck has completely disabled me.

I have felt pain before. The pain of loss. The pain of grief. The pain of others'. even some physical pain. But nothing like the pain I felt yesterday (01-11-10). It was as if two giants from the Lord of the Rings trilogy had my neck and head in their hands, and their goal was to destroy. Many of you will understand this pain of which I write. It's the pain of a herniated disk high up on the neck. I know it's common. I know that many people suffer with or have suffered this injury and I hope that it will heal or be healed. But let me tell you, the pain and suffering that Jesus went through was nothing compared to the pain that I experienced yesterday, and the thought of that is humbling to me.

This humbling injury of mine has me thinking about the humbling and humiliating experience that Jesus went through on the day of His crucifixion. My pain holds no comparison with the pain of Christ. The torture, the humiliation, the inexorable, unimaginable pain that he went through for me is humbling. Is frightening. It's terrible. And it's as real as the wimpy, tiny little pin prick of pain in my human neck....Lord, forgive me my sin......Amen.