Over the past two years my preaching style has completely changed. I was trained in Seminary to preach in a certain manner. A certain form was to be followed. A sermon was to be written down in either scripted form or outline, and so that is what I practiced for the first four years after my ordination into the Lutheran church. I wrote the sermons. I read the sermons with style. Adding emotion and emphasis on certain points when they were needed. Pausing here, rushing there, to give the sermon some kind of life that seemed to be lacking. For four years I read sermons to a group of people who tried to listen to them. But something always felt wrong. But I was comfortable doing so.

One day, it was a sunday morning, I had my sermon all set to go. It was a good sermon, according to the standards to which I had been trained. 12 pages long, size 12 font, scripted....ready and waiting to be preached. But it was a strange morning.

All morning I was worrying about preaching that sermon. I was unsettled in mind and spirit. It was almost as if I knew something was wrong but just could not pinpoint where the source of discomfort was located. Was it in my mind? Was I psyching myself out? Was it in my body? I was feeling a bit anxious that morning, maybe I was getting sick? It was all so strange and so abnormal for me. I decided to put it out of my mind and to go back into my office, to sit down and pray for some sort of peace and calm before the congregation arrived. The calm never arrived.

The service opened as usual. I welcomed everyone, told them where the prayer cards were located. Then we sang the customary two opening songs. I listened to the readings being read. Invited the congregation to stand for the Alleluia to be sung. paused at the altar on my way to the pulpit (which is really just the lectern) to read the Gospel reading for that particular Sunday...

As I started to read the gospel lesson I began to get this really definite feeling that the sermon I ha written was not right. There was something very wrong with the sermon that I had spent so much time on. I didn't know what it was. I began to feel ill knowing that it was wrong. And I began to experience a definite emotional pull to throw it away. Panic set in and I didn't know what to do.

So with no more options before me, at least none that I could think of, I finished the gospel reading, reached down to pick up my sermon that was just waiting for me within the pulpit and threw it into the air above my head where it landed on those who were sitting in the front row of the sanctuary...............(more to come)